Never Kill A Boy On The First Date Quotes

Buffy: We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Buffy, and you're history!
Giles: Poor technique. Prioritizing, sub-par... Execution was adequate, but a bit too bloody for my taste.
Buffy: Giles, don't mention it. It was my *pleasure* to make the world safe for humanity again.
Giles: I'm not saying that your methods are without merit, it's, uh, y- you're spending too much time and energy. It should simply be: plunge, and move on. Plunge and... Hello.
 
Buffy: Wait, it's right here. Sun and three stars. Yuck, check these guys out. Told you it looked familiar.
Giles: Oh, the Order of Aurelius. Yes, you're right.
Buffy: Ooo, two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score!
 
Giles: What do you want?
Owen: A book?
Giles: Oh!
Buffy: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
 
Buffy: Do you have any more copies of Emily Dickinson? I need one.
Giles: Buffy, while the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think we should focus on the problem at hand.
Buffy: Right. I'm sorry, you're right. Vampires. Oh. Does this outfit make me look fat?
 
Buffy: Tonight, okay... Not okay! It can't be tonight!
Giles: My calculations are precise.
Buffy: Nuh! They're bad calculations! Bad!
Willow: Buffy has a really important date.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
 
Xander: So you just went home?
Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?'
Xander: Or flat tire?
 
Owen: W-where were you last night?
Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don't have any clocks in our house and so I didn't know what time it was or even what day it was...
Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to. How 'bout we try it again for tonight? I'll even lend you my watch.
 
Willow: So, where's he taking you?
Buffy: Oh, I don't know. Where do you suppose young kids go on dates these days?
Willow: Well, I read somewhere once that sometimes they go to movies.
Buffy: Movies! Interesting!
Willow: And I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a party.
Buffy: Wow! I never knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities!
 
Buffy: Giles, why do you wanna hurt me?
Giles: I beg your pardon?
Owen: Hey! Uh, hi!
Giles: You have a date?
Buffy: Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow.
Giles: Wait, you're not getting off that easily.
Owen: Man, you really care about your work!
 
Buffy: We don't even know if this is anything.
Giles: No, we don't.
Buffy: And I haven't had a day off in a while.
Giles: True...
Buffy: And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer!
Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer... i-i-is problematic at best.
Buffy: This is the 90's. The 1990's, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date.
Giles: Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead...
Buffy: Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won't go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
 
Cordelia: Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him.
 
Buffy: No! No... no... uh... You remember when you said I was like two different people? Well, one of them has to go. But the other one is having a really, really good time, and will come back. I promise.
Owen: She's the strangest girl!
 
Buffy: I knew it. I totally blew it last night!
Xander: No, see, what you need is a guy who already knows your deepest, darkest secrets and still says, 'Hey! I like that girl!' Someone like...
Buffy: Owen!
Willow: Well, heh... This is our stop.
 
Giles: I was ten years old when my father told me I was destined to be a Watcher. He was one, and his, uh, mother before him, and I was to be next.
Buffy: Were you thrilled beyond all measure?
Giles: No, I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer. Well, uh... My father gave me a very tiresome speech about, uh, responsibility and sacrifice.
Buffy: Sacrifice, huh?
 
Master: 'And in this time will come the Anointed. And the Slayer will not know him. She will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell.' Welcome, my friend.